Expert Advice: Not So Blissful Side of New Motherhood

Little Hoboken Photography

Society’s perspective of the birth of a baby- consists of pure joy and bliss from the moment of delivery....but is this reality???

Although the birth of a child could be the beginning of a love that is beyond words and moments filled with joy and gratitude, it can also be one of the most challenging times in a female's life.

Let’s look at it realistically- the physical birth experience is undoubtedly surreal. However, it can be one of the toughest experiences physically for a female...then two seconds after it is complete they begin their "mom role" (externally since one is a "mom" thru pregnancy)to their newborn, which may include navigating thru the journey of nursing. Making an effort to balance visitors and what help is needed are additional tasks a new mom has to tackle. Let’s not forget if one has a partner -also learning how to integrate this major change in a healthy and positive way within their relationship. Defining what her new identity as a mom and combining it with her former individual identity, healing her body, learning to live life with sleep deprivation, fitting self-care in minimal time, and coping with the hormonal circus going on internally. There is no doubt that the first few weeks to months of new motherhood has an overflowing bucket of challenges. Therefore- isn't it completely reasonable for a mom to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, irritable, and tearful at times??? Unfortunately, so many new moms feel isolated with these feelings. They have the misbelief that it is shameful not to just LOVE every moment.

There is nothing shameful about experiencing the challenges in a human way nor does it demonstrate any lack of affection or negatively impact the bonding with one's newborn. It can be tough and it is completely acceptable to recognize that for one's self. In addition, it is not a weakness to ask for help or utilize the supports out there...A therapist can be helpful for working thru any anxiety or sadness that lingers. A meetup with fellow moms can normalize the tough times. A lactation consultant or nursing group can assist with any feeding worries. Even a simple walk or mani pedi can be super helpful.

The bottom line is that being a new mom is amazing in so many ways but also can be tough at times in many aspects....there is no need to struggle in isolation. Talk to others, utilize resources of support, and see thestrength in your "human" responses to new motherhood.


Mollie Busino LCSW is a Hoboken based therapist specializing in Anxiety, Depression, Anger Management, Career Changes, OCD, Relationship/Dating Challenges, Insomnia, & Postpartum Depression/Anxiety. To learn more about Mollie and her practice, visit Mindful Power

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