Photo: Danielle Guenther Photography
Ladies, let's chat about the second pregnancy. It's so different. I am so different.
With my first pregnancy, I knew exactly how far along I was down to the minute. 23 weeks? No, I'm 23 weeks and 3 days. I knew what size fruit my baby was currently being compared to on 3 different apps, and could tell you the development that was happening at any given time in my womb.
I was a walking, talking, non-toxic baby-making machine who changed the kind of face wash I used, the water I drank, and the nail polish I used. I had an argument with my husband because he bought me non-organic apples when he knew full well that I only ate organic ones.
This time, not so much. This time I'm a mother...and a busy one. You're lucky I know my due date let alone which fruit we are being compared to. I eat leftover pizza for fuel and grab "meals" from drive-thru coffee shops. I haven't given up caffeine for the sole reason that I literally cannot function without it, and let's not even start with the face wash and nail polish. Just, no.
The second (or third, or fourth, or...now you're just getting crazy...) pregnancy is just so different. Here are some of the major differences I am noticing in myself.
Eliza's bedroom, her wardrobe until she was 5 years old, and basically her entire childhood was planned out on my secret boards. I planned the nursery details. I planned the way I was going to save her art projects and keepsakes. I planned the poses I wanted in our maternity, newborn, 6-month, and 1 year photo sessions. Pinterest was a rabbit hole and I was in deep.
This baby, well, we know nothing. I think his room will have some blue in it and I'm pretty sure he will get a folder right next to his sister's for his keepsakes (because, obviously, I didn't really do any of the things I pinned). He will probably (actually, make that definitely) be rocking some pink duds because that's what we've got onhand and he will be drinking out of the pink bottles that I have saved. Why buy all new stuff? Sorry, bud.
I used to have so many questions. I went to most OB appointments with a list of questions handy. Of course, I was reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and several other books to prepare myself, so I had some concerns from each to discuss. I wanted to know if they did that certain blood test, suspected that rare problem, or if I should writing down my birth plan yet.
This time around, I'm just so much calmer. I can feel the baby moving, and that is great reassurance for me. I love that little kick here and there to remind me to stop and send him some love. I'm not worried about my birth plan, because I just know I want three things: an epidural, a healthy baby, and a healthy mommy. I trust my doctor to get us there.
I was prepared. I had all the different kinds of rash creams in case one didn't work. I had diapers in 2 different sizes, 3 different kinds of wipes, 2 bathtubs, a million blankets, hats, and clothing that I would never put my baby in. Shoes? Why does a newborn baby need shoes?? They don't. But, I had several pairs of them. Don't even get me started on the various rocking apparatuses. We had several that each moved in a different direction. Guess what? Eliza didn't like any of them.
I read books about sleep and feeding schedules. I read about how much to rock a baby (and how much not to rock a baby). I listened my grandmother, the pediatrician, and even the lady at the grocery store about what to do and what not to do. I stressed myself out about being prepared with everything I might need and knowing as much as I could.
This time around, I know I need diapers, onesies, and hand sanitizer. I will put him down in his crib or the rocker that I will borrow from a friend. I will wear him- a lot more than "they" say I'm supposed to, because I'm not afraid to spoil a newborn. I'll hold him when he needs it, feed him when he's hungry, and will not stress myself out with sleep or feeding schedules. He will be happy and loved. I will be tired. We will make it work and figure it all out as we go along. I will sleep again one day. I know that this time.
With my first pregnancy, I was a good 6-months pregnant before I really "popped". I was in the best shape of my life when I got pregnant, so my pregnancy body was cute. I loved bump-hugging clothes and rocked a bikini on our babymoon.
This time, I started showing pretty much as soon as I got pregnant. My boobs swelled to the size of watermelons and my posture went from cute to hunchback by 6 weeks. My belly button is already totally popped (I'm 21 weeks) and the bikini...that's not going to happen this time around.
I did go through 2 years of fertility treatment before this pregnancy, so my hormones were completely out of whack. I had already gained a lot of weight from the treatments and limited workouts. So after everything my body has been through, I just don't care about it all. I'm so happy and grateful to even be pregnant, I will focus on my body again after this baby joins us.
My first pregnancy was full of relaxing facials and spa days. It was a time to pamper myself and take advantage of the "me-time" before baby. After a long day, I would take a relaxing bath at home with fancy soaps and oils.
Do I even need to talk about now?? The last time I had a mid-day bath was because of a potty training accident on my lap. So, there's that.
Now, it's your turn! Tell us what was different about your second (or third!)