YESSSSS!! It's true! I am (FINALLY) pregnant with baby #2!
I didn't want this to be just another baby announcement though. I have been through so much to get here, and so many of you have been along for this ride with me. I know how painful a pregnancy announcement can be for those that are still in the thick of their own fertility journeys. So, I wanted to share my good news, but also share my story.
I took a noticeable break from sharing my fertility story. The truth is, I was tired of sharing bad news all of the time. It was depressing enough to live it, but also sharing so much of it became too difficult. My last real update was last summer...right before our second IVF transfer.
My road to that transfer was full of complications -- surgeries and long recoveries pushed that transfer off for months and months. I was feeling so good about that one, so I shared, a lot.
Through a series of random schedule changes and then a surge in my hormones, I was scheduled for IVF embryo transfer #2 on the EXACT date of Eliza's transfer EXACTLY 3 years prior. To say that I felt fate was on my side would be an understatement. I was SO sure that this was it. I basically told people I was pregnant before I knew for sure. This transfer did work and I was blissfully pregnant for six amazing weeks. A miscarriage is not something I had experienced before, so this hit me incredibly hard. I have never known a sadness this deep or this paralyzing.
I got right back into it and went for transfer #3 just a couple of months later. Again this pregnancy did not last long, and although I don't want to go into too much detail on this one, I will say that this was an intense situation and very scary. It made me question what I was doing to myself and what I was willing to risk to have a baby. It made me take a good look at my daughter and my husband -- the joy that was already in my life -- and be grateful for them. A family that I want to be here for and a daughter that deserves her mommy. My husband and I had many long talks about not trying again after this one.
But, ultimately we had one more embryo. ONE. MORE.
So, we decided to try one more time. This time I took a deep breath and just went forward without any expectations. I cancelled my daily acupuncture (because as amazing as it was, the schedule was killing me). I drank wine (because, duh.) I ate dairy and gluten and all the sugary delicious things I had cut out before because Dr. Google told me to. I just went for it, knowing that if it did not work, that I would be ok.
This was the lucky one. This was the one that was meant to be my baby. This is the soul that was just sitting there, waiting for me. This is that miracle ending we work so hard for.
To all my TTC sisters, please take my pregnancy announcement as sign that your miracle ending is coming. I promise not to be one of those that gets pregnant and then forgets the struggle. I'm still here for you. I'm still rooting for you. I'm just a little fatter.
Oh, and by the way.....IT'S A BOY!!