I don't know what I would do without these ladies in my life!
And I didn't know any of them before Lucy was born.
When I became a new mom, I had no idea how important mom friends would be. And not just mom friends, new mom friends — you know, the women who are going through exactly what you’re going through, week by spit-up filled week.
Here’s the second surprise I found: Even though most of the new mom friends I made had husbands or significant others, it didn’t really affect the dynamic of our friendship. After all, we were all dealing with sleepless nights and confusing body changes and adorable, exhausting newborns who needed us — not our partners, not our parents, not our babysitters — the majority of the day.
But here’s where it differed: While they had partners, I didn’t. Which meant it was even more essential to make sure I had people who had my back — and have them in my circle, ready to help out when needed. I have one mom friend who watched Lucy at the last minute when a babysitter bailed and I had a date I’d been looking forward to for months, another who made sure to drive Lucy to daycare on a day when I was throwing up every ten minutes from food poisoning. Your new mom friends are your people. Here's how I found them.
Prenatal Yoga. I made my first set of mom friends here, and we hung out regularly for the first three months of Lucy’s life. I had taken prenatal yoga near my office in Manhattan, and most of those women lived in New York City, so our friendships petered out when everyone went back to work. But they got me through the hump of being a new parent and I owe them everything.
New Mom Support Group. I went to two different ones. Like everyone in Hoboken says, the one at Hoboken Hospital is a great place to meet new moms — and I got a lifelong friend out of it. I also went to one in Jersey City at Three Little Birds which was also so helpful.
The Neighborhood. See a new mom carrying roughly the same size baby as yours? Talk to her! I made one best friend because we were both hugely pregnant on the PATH and started chatting when no one would give up their seats, another from my building. Another mom in the neighborhood set up an informal Thursday night group in her building where new parents would come, drink wine, and set their babies on the floor to interact with each other. The best part about neighborhood mom friends is that they live a five-minute maximum walk away, so it’s so easy to set up spontaneous play dates.
How about you? Have a great suggestion of where to make mom friends? Email Anna at firstname.lastname@example.org
Anna Davies lives in the Paulus Hook section of Jersey City with her two-year-old daughter, Lucy. Anna is a writer who has written for The New York Times, The New York Post, Glamour, Cosmo, Elle and others. She's also written thirteen young adult novels, including ghostwriting five Gossip Girl novels (shhh!) Prior to Jersey City, Anna lived in Brooklyn for ten years and is a Northern NJ native. She loves going on adventures with Lucy; follow along @babybackpacker on Instagram.