"You go alone, I got this." My husband says, as we're 15 minutes late getting our kid out the door. I slammed the door, walked outside and looked up at the ceiling of our apartment building's hallway, I didn't even take a breath.
"Don't you dare cry, don't do this." I repeat to myself in my head. Tears started running down my face like a damn faucet. I'm shaking. I feel defeated. I look over to find my neighbor with her cute dog.
"Are you ok?? Aww, don't cry!!", she yells from the far elevator. Oh, sweet Jesus, I've been spotted in the middle of a meltdown at 8am. Shitballs!
The "normal" response would be to put my big girl pants on, get an effing grip and respond back that I was fine. But I didn't. Instead, I ran over like a baby (picture Dirty Dancing style), and wrapped my arms around this woman whom I barely know and cried on her shoulder while her dog licked my tears away. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding. This story is true. I cried the whole elevator ride down and said things like:
"Why doesn't he listen!?"
"He wouldn't get dressed!! Now we're so late!!"
"He didn't like the way I did his hair!!"
"I HATE MORNINGS!! They can go to hell!!" (this was my favorite response, by the way)
She hugged me again as we parted, and I walked away to get the car. It's now time to play "the calm chauffeur role" for the morning.
I pull the car up front to pick up my husband and child.
I look over at my husband with a new set of eyes. He literally saved me from losing my shiznit on our child.
20 minutes prior to this moment, I went from kindly asking my 7 year old to put his clothing, shoes, and backpack on. Now, imagine doing this 1000 more times with no response. Well….I went from 0 to 100 quickly. I lost my cool. I was literally picturing myself throwing my son off the balcony like a raging fiery torpedo, in the blazing hot Mexican sun, while screaming, "ENJOY THE RIDE!!!". Ya know those visuals that cross your mind that you later laugh about? Yeah…that moment.
Mornings are rough, man. REAL rough.
We all drove to school in silence as I still had tears running down my face behind my scratched up cheap Forever21 sunglasses. I dropped him at school, and then I dropped my husband off at the train. I kissed him goodbye and said thank you.
We all lose our cool, it's normal. But not everyone talks about it. We all like to imagine we've got it all together, don't we? Not all days…especially not during the weekdays between the hours of 7-8am.
So…as the holidays approach and our kids are out of school for 14 days straight, let's all join forces together and be a shoulder to cry on during our tough days, an ear to listen, and maybe even an empty wine glass to fill.
Cheers, mommas! You're not alone.
Danielle Guenther is a local lifestyle photographer. When she's not photographing, she's either chasing her child on a skateboard while guzzling coffee, groovin' out to some good jams, or roaming around the streets of NYC whining about how she wants to move back. And if all else fails, she's probably at a wine bar.
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