When my wife, Laura, first announced to me that we were soon to be parents, my mind quickly turned to formulating a plan to learn as much about parenthood as I could. Unsurprisingly for me, my approach was to plan and research; it was a snap reaction intended to give me control of a situation over which I clearly had little.
To help myself compartmentalize, I would leave the research about the pregnancy and the birth itself to my wife. Since she’d be the one who would be impacted by whatever was being recommended to her - and her body - who was I to say anything? And when she told me she had looked into hiring midwives and a doula, all I could do was to go along with it, as skeptical as I may have been at the time. Frankly, I had no context for understanding. And what even was a doula?
It turns out, a doula was not only what she needed during labor, but it was what I needed as well. I didn’t realize how often the doctors and nurses would leave us alone for long stretches of time, as if I had any idea what was going on or how I could help my wife through the hours of labor. We attended childbirth classes together, but the minute stuff got real, all of the facts were forgotten, and my mind went blank. What should I do? Wait, what just happened? Is that normal?!
Fast forward to today - I think in the last three years, I have learned more about childbirth than I ever imagined possible. My wife has become a doula, and now I know that was exactly what I needed at our birth; someone to encourage me to jump in and be supportive. A doula doesn’t take the place of the dad, but she coaches him on how he can help in a hands-on way. She reassures dads through the completely unfamiliar surroundings that can be scary at times. I know Laura is always excited when a dad just “clicks” with her, whether it be his sense of humor or love of hockey; she just loves to figure out how to “speak his language” so they can work together well to support the wife.
She, and other doulas like her, not only get to witness the moment when women become mothers, but also when men become fathers, and they hold as a goal to protect that special moment. I know because it was easily one of the most incredible moments that I have ever experienced.
Nick Falzon is the proud husband of Laura and the daddy of a very expressive two year old boy who is obsessed with Buzz Lightyear. They love their home of Hoboken and hope to live here until retirement, when they plan to take back-to-back cruises pretty much all the time. In fact, Nick is probably planning their next cruise as you read this.
Laura Falzon is a doula, honored to be serving the families of Hoboken and the surrounding areas as they welcome their babies into the world. She loves Nick. www.DoulaLauraFalzon.com
Laura Falzon is one of the guest speakers at Little Bee Learning Studio's Nesting Series. To learn more, or to register visit