When I fell in love with my husband, it was quick. After dating for roughly two weeks, I told two close friends that I was going to marry him. After six months we were engaged. I knew when we were engaged that one day he would be a great dad. When we got our dog, I knew he'd be a great dad to our child one day. When we had our son, he blew every expectation I ever had right out of the water.
He was an instant swaddle master. He volunteered to do the midnight feeding so that I could go to bed at 10. He could get my son to calm down and coo (sure it was to Wu Tang Clan, but hey, whatever works!) and he rarely complained about a diaper. He was truly a 50/50 parent.
When I was going back to work after my Maternity Leave, he was in the process of running his own business from home, so he volunteered to be the stay-at-home parent with the baby. He did this for the first year of my son's life.
Sure, there were jealous moments when he knew what toys my son loved and which he no longer liked. He was the one who saw a lot of "firsts" and sent me videos.....the army crawl, the actual crawl, the first steps (Ironically, he still said "mama" first, so I win!). He taught my son a lot of things and knew his favorite foods. To this day, the bond between them is something that will never cease to melt my heart every single day!
People hear this and want to give him "credit". They want to act like he's a superhero for doing exactly what he signed up for when we decided to have our child......be a parent! He never says, "I'll babysit Kane." He's his dad. Moms and dads don't babysit their own kids.....friends do, grandparents do, aunts and uncles do, and we pay sitters to. I have a lot of friends who say, "I can't believe Tim will just babysit Kane so much." Um, what?
His business plans changed and he went back to Corporate America and we had a nanny and then I left Corporate America and now I'm the SAHM. My husband NEVER questions why the house is a mess or dinner isn't ready or asks me what I did all day as though I watched Bravo and ate Talenti. (God, I wish that was my day!) He never complains that I "go out too much" and he has to "babysit" again when I want to get something done for work or with my friends.
I think we all spend a lot of time complaining about the things our spouses do wrong, but not enough time saying what it is they do right....not just to other people, but to them as well. I also think a lot of women think we should give men credit when they do stay home with their kids as though they are accomplishing a remarkable feat. There are a lot of amazing daddies out there and I bet you are married to one, so let him know you think that too! (I mean, it's almost Father's Day, let's throw him a bone!)