Walking along the Hoboken waterfront one day, I saw her. A cute, well-dressed fellow blonde with a stroller and a dog. We locked eyes. We smiled. I asked her how old her baby was. Only a day older than mine! I asked where she lived. Same building as me! I made a corny joke. She laughed!
It was love.
Finding your first mom-bestie is like meeting your first love. There is excitement and happiness. The first few phone calls and text messages are a little nerve-wracking. You should be funny. But, not too funny! You should be modest. But, still sound confident. You should be available. But, don’t be too eager. You should tell your friends about her. But, don’t make it seem like too big of a deal.
My mom-bestie and I quickly realized we had a lot in common. We have the same sense of humor, similar fashion sense, and most importantly similar parenting styles. The fact that we live in the same apartment building made our friendship even more convenient and we quickly fell into a routine of calling each other and/or getting together almost daily.
Before having a baby I never would have realized that I needed this kind of person in my life. I have lots of friends, and lots of those friends have babies. However, in meeting my mom-bestie I realized that I needed more than a friend with a baby. I need a mom with a baby doing the same things as my baby at the same time my baby was doing them. Yes, there are times when I go to my friends with older babies to ask questions or seek advice. But with a mom-bestie, it's different. She doesn’t remember what it's like. She knows what it's like right now.
My mom-bestie and I have since made other mom-friends. We have joined different classes and mom-groups and have broadened our circle. But she’s still my mom-bestie. She’s still the one I call when my baby is sick. The one who can come over when my house is messy or my hair isn’t done. She’s still my first love.
PS- To my mom-bestie, If you’re reading this and aren’t sure who I’m talking about, forget I said anything…..